7 Helper Syndrome Symptoms: Are You Helping Too Much?

You are always there when someone needs you. You can’t do anything else. Nobody has to ask you – helping comes naturally to you. So naturally that you completely put your own well-being and your wishes aside, to the point of self-sacrifice. And that doesn’t end well. Are you helping too much? We show typical helper syndrome symptoms. The more of these apply to you, the more likely you are to have helper syndrome.

1. “I HAVE TO help”

Helping others is a wonderful virtue. But for people who have developed helper syndrome, it has almost become a compulsion. The urge to help is extremely strong and overwhelms everything else. Your own concerns and appointments are forgotten. Suddenly the only thing that matters is the new task: helping the other person.

The danger: Helper syndrome can prevent you from leaving unhealthy relationships. Your compassion may even keep you trapped in toxic relationships. Listen to your gut feeling!

2. Helper Syndrome Symptoms: “I feel guilty”

Imagine the following situations: You have planned a vacation or your best friend is moving at short notice and you don’t have time. For people with severe helper syndrome, this is almost unbearable. Anyone with helper syndrome feels incredibly guilty when they can’t help someone. You feel like you’ve failed. Even if this isn’t a problem for others and your best friend is sure to find other movers, you feel bad.

3. “What I need is not as important as what others need”

Putting yourself aside – that is the great strength in helper syndrome. You always see the others. You feel what they need. Your empathy is incredibly strong. Standing up for yourself and your needs is difficult.

Putting yourself aside is not only a strength, but also a great danger. Because only when you feel good about yourself can you be a real asset to others. If you often think about others, don’t forget to plan enough me time too. Here we have told you how you can find more time for yourself in everyday life.

4. “I help, even if it’s not wanted”

You sense that help is needed and bang – you are always ready, you leave everything behind. Nobody has to ask you to do it. You help even when it’s not wanted. Excessive helping without being asked – this also indicates helper syndrome.

Your drive for action is with all due respect – forced help doesn’t always feel good. Because even though you have the best intentions and only want to give good things, it can sometimes seem like you’re intruding on the other person.

5. “I want to be the savior”

Constantly helping others – that sounds completely selfless at first. But: None of us act completely unselfishly. Helping out has a small benefit for us: we feel needed. We believe we play an important role. Being the savior in an emergency – that’s a nice feeling. But this desire can also cause you to neglect yourself.

6. Helper Syndrome Symptoms: “I’ll solve your problems”

No matter whether it’s your partner’s financial problems or a colleague’s overtime – you take over! You take on other people’s difficulties and look for a solution until you find it.

But be careful: this is not always what you want. Sometimes this behavior can make others feel offended. True to the motto “I can do it myself.” Because there is a catch with the helper syndrome: whoever saves others is the hero. The other person inevitably feels inferior. That’s exactly why people with helper syndrome don’t always get the recognition they should for their well-intentioned helping.

7. “I only feel good when I help”

A typical cause of helper syndrome is low self-confidence. For many people, trying to help others is an attempt to build their own self-esteem. Suddenly there is a task, a meaning. And that gives you strength!

But please never forget: true self-confidence comes from within and has nothing to do with external factors. Even if you didn’t provide perfect help, you can appreciate yourself! Anyone who only feels valuable when they solve problems for others has most likely developed helper syndrome.

Conclusion: Now you know the most important helper syndrome symptoms. However, every symptom is completely normal and healthy to a certain extent. Of course, wanting to help others isn’t always a bad thing. Quite the opposite. How beautiful the world would be if everyone supported each other a little more.

But this should always remain within healthy limits so that you don’t neglect yourself. You can only help others if you are doing well yourself. When you’re completely stressed and overworked, you can’t focus on other people’s needs.

Only you can judge whether you really suffer from helper syndrome. If this is the case and you have recognized yourself in some of the helper syndrome symptoms, then it makes sense to research your behavior more closely. A good place to start is the book “My Journey to Myself” by Sabrina Fleisch. With exciting tests and unusual questions, this book helps you discover why you are who you are. And it shows ways in which you can consciously get used to new behaviors. Among the many books in this area, this is an absolute purchase recommendation.