There’s that moment when you listen to yourself think and think, “Who are you?” I had this moment recently – and when you get right down to it, it had to do with summer dresses and comfort zones. Not just fashionable, but in a very everyday sense. Because I notice that I don’t even make appointments anymore. Not because of illness, not because of an important appointment. But because then I can’t carry out my sports program the way I want.
I. Because of. Sport.
I, who just two or three years ago used to roll my eyes at these very types of people.
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Welcome to the complicated club
At some point it just happens. You get older, you know what’s good for you, you’ve developed routines that work and suddenly you defend these routines like a terrier defends his bone. Appointments become a logistical challenge. Not because you don’t like people, but because you calculate the consequences in advance. If I say yes now, the training will be cancelled. If I miss training, I sleep worse. If I don’t sleep well, I won’t be productive the next day. And so on, and so on.
There’s also something else I like to be open about: I produce all of my content – this blog, Instagram, everything – in my free time. It is limited. And when a date eats up that free time, I not only miss the workout, but also the time I need for what’s really important to me. That might sound cold. But it is simply the truth. The scary thing is not that you think that. The scary thing is that it feels completely logical.
The suitcase, the train and my back
This becomes particularly clear when traveling. I don’t like going on short trips these days, and there’s a very specific reason for that: the luggage. Not the luggage itself, but what I put on myself so that I don’t miss a routine. Pack sports clothes, training bands, maybe a yoga mat, because you never know. In the end the suitcase is so heavy that I can hardly lift it into the luggage rack on the train. And if I manage to do it, it will come at the cost of something hurting me afterwards. Shoulder, back, pride.
The funny thing? Nine times out of ten I brought all this stuff with me for absolutely nothing. Because of course I can’t do sports there. Because life decides that. Of course I could go by car. Then I wouldn’t have to heave a suitcase into the luggage rack and I could take everything with me, whether I end up needing it or not. But on the one hand there is the environment and on the other hand I simply don’t feel like sitting in the car alone for long distances anymore. So train, suitcase and back.
Overnight oats and the limits of what is possible
The same is true with food. In the evening I prepare my overnight oats for the next morning. That’s my thing, it works, I like it. But if I’m out and about in the evening, that doesn’t work. Prepare beforehand? Theoretically possible, practically not if you have had a normal working day. So no overnight oats and then no perfect morning. So a bad start to the day, at least in my opinion. I hear myself and sometimes think: Please. It’s oatmeal. And still.
Alone in the hotel room – and that’s a good thing
There’s also another development that wasn’t on my radar a few years ago: I prefer to be alone in a hotel room at times. Then I can spread my chaos exactly how I want. No compromise, no consideration, no comments about where I put my things. And don’t even get me started on my own toilet.
The nice thing about this realization: I’m not alone in this. A dear Insta acquaintance recently wrote me exactly the same thing in a few direct messages. She got upset with herself, I got upset with myself, and in the end we both realized that we were obviously both in that phase right now. “Becoming complicated” as a collective phenomenon, so to speak.
Summer dresses as a comfort zone test
And since I’m already questioning my comfort zone, let’s get to the outfits. Because I also have my own fashionable ways. I’m a trouser. I always have been, I probably always will be. Pants give me a feeling of freedom of movement, of control – I feel like I can do anything spontaneously. Summer dresses, on the other hand, have always been a small step out of my comfort zone for me.
It starts with plucking. Does the dress fit correctly? Is the hem slipping? Is that at the front or at the back? And then there’s the matter of the thighs rubbing together in the summer. Of course there are solutions for this. Skin-colored cycling shorts made from thin fabric work wonderfully. However, they also take away exactly the airy feeling that actually makes summer dresses so attractive. So you solve one problem and create a new one at the same time.
Butter yellow and wind machine
I’ve had the two dresses in the photos in my closet for a while. The butter yellow shirt dress with belt picks up on a color that can currently be seen everywhere. And I have to say: absolutely right. Love this color a lot, even though I have pretty fair skin anyway, I think it’s great. It looks a little more dressed up without being formal and is actually one of my favorite dresses. The blue and white patterned dress is the exact opposite. Loose, light and almost carefree. For photos it’s a dream. But as soon as even a light wind comes up, the material develops a remarkable life of its own. Marilyn Monroe sends her regards.
Maybe that’s exactly the difference between summer dresses and trousers. The pants simply do their job. A shorter dress occasionally demands attention, my own, and somehow constantly. That’s why, in my opinion, this is a rather strenuous piece of clothing. In any case, both dresses mostly hang in the closet, even though I actually really like them.
What’s left if you avoid all appointments?
And now I come to the point that I have to keep reminding myself. If you start consistently avoiding appointments because they might disrupt your routine, you will eventually no longer have a social life. This is not an exaggeration, but a fairly logical consequence. You optimize yourself into solitude.
And that probably wasn’t the goal when you started taking better care of yourself. I don’t have a ready answer to that. I’m just observing this development in myself and apparently in others too. Maybe that’s exactly the first step: to even notice what’s happening. And maybe I should just say yes to the next date. If necessary, without a training band in your suitcase. How is it for you? Have you developed routines over the years that you almost protect like a treasure, or do you still manage to remain spontaneous? Thank you for reading here and sharing your time with me. This really means something to me.
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