Suddenly I’m interested in completely different items of clothing when I’m shopping. I used to mainly love very figure-hugging clothing and fabrics that weren’t necessarily suitable for everyday use. Lots of faux leather, lots of lace. I wore a lot of crop tops, extravagant blazers, leather skirts or leather leggings. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that as a mom you shouldn’t wear something like that. But I really notice how I go through different phases.
There was the pregnancy during which little by little nothing fit me anymore. Comfortable pants and shoes were my most important companions. The breastfeeding period, when I especially needed clothes in which I could quickly breastfeed my baby. In the last few weeks, clothing has become less of an expression of my identity and more of a functional matter. I have to be able to move around in it, she has to support me. Big earrings? The baby could pull on it and it will be painful.
This is exactly the tension I’m in right now: between “What feels practical?” and “How do I find myself in my style?”
Fashion blog on andysparkles
My “before”: Everything for the look
When I think about my looks before pregnancy, it was often: pretty to look at, not practical at all.
My standard repertoire:
- tight jeans or leather leggings
- Crop tops or very figure-hugging tops
- Blazers that only looked good open and had zero freedom of movement
- Faux leather, lace, statement pieces
Back then I could take the time to change an outfit ten times. If the shoes pinched, they would just be changed. If the top wasn’t “Instagram-worthy,” I just wore a different one.
Today I realize that back then I often dressed more for the photo, not for my everyday life. That doesn’t work one bit with a baby.
The phases: pregnancy, breastfeeding and afterwards
The first big break came with the pregnancy. At first everything is fine, then suddenly nothing at all. I gradually noticed how I was hanging all of my “before” pieces to the side and reaching for wide pants, elastic waistbands and sneakers.
During breastfeeding it became even more functional:
- Tops that I can open quickly
- no fabrics that dig in when I sit for a long time
- Cuts that allow me to carry a baby without everything slipping
- Shoes that I can just slip into
In this phase, fashion was very clear: a means to an end. And honestly, that was necessary. I needed that time when everything was designed to function. But at some point the moment came in the mirror when I thought: Where am I in this look?
Between comfort and identity: what has changed
What has completely changed for me: the order in which I think about outfits.
Earlier:
“What does it look like in photos?” and then somehow try to make it somewhat suitable for everyday use.
Today:
“Can I survive a day like this with a baby, a dog, shopping and being out and about?” and then I’ll see how I can get it “nice”.
My basics now:
- Jeans that are actually comfortable and don’t just look that way
- Tops that allow me to bend, lift and sit down
- Flat shoes that I can walk in even with a baby in my arms
- Materials that feel good on the skin and don’t scratch
And yet I noticed: Only leggings plus a hoodie make me dissatisfied in the long run. I want to recognize myself in the mirror, just in a version that fits my life as a mother.
Accessories: Small details, big difference
Because my outfits have become simpler overall, details suddenly have a much greater impact. Especially jewelry.
I used to buy costume jewelry without thinking, which turned green after a short time or irritated my skin. Today I need parts that:
- I can wear it every day
- not to be annoying when I have a baby in my arms
- don’t get stuck somewhere all the time
- go with many outfits
That’s why I’ve become much more selective when it comes to jewelry. It is better to have a few, selected parts, but produced to a high quality and fairly. For example, fair, sustainable jewelry made from recycled silver or gold that I can wear every day without worrying about whether it will end up in the trash again after three weeks.
For me, that fits in very well with this new everyday life. I don’t have time to test five different chains every morning. I want one or two pieces that always work.
Capsule instead of drama in the wardrobe
At some point I realized that my many pieces were overwhelming me rather than inspiring me. So I radically went through the closet.
Everything is thrown out:
- only looks good in a single posture
- after two hours, squeezes, pinches or scratches
- I “keep it” even though I haven’t worn it for years
What remains is what I can rely on:
- a pair of well-fitting jeans
- neutral, more comfortable tops
- Dresses that can be made everyday with tights and boots
- two or three jackets and coats that really go with everything
This takes incredible pressure off. I have less choice, but more outfits that I really feel comfortable in.
Rethinking consumption: quality over quantity
With a child in your life you automatically think more about the future. With every new purchase I now ask myself more often: Do I really need this or am I just filling some feeling?
Especially in the area of jewelry, a lot of things are produced and bought completely thoughtlessly. Cheap necklaces, rings, earrings that tarnish after a short time, rub off the color and end up in the trash. It “works” for two evenings, but it’s not sustainable – neither for the environment nor for your own style.
The thought helps me: If I’m going to spend money, then it’s better to spend it on something that lasts. A good piece that I can combine with many outfits, that fits my style and at the same time aligns with my values.
My mom’s wish list for Christmas
Since my style has become so much more practical, I also think differently about requests. Instead of ten new trendy items, I want a few things that really accompany me in everyday life and are good for me.
For example, on my little Christmas wish list this year is:
- a day just for me, without appointments and to-do lists
- a really good winter coat that goes with my basic looks
- simple, high quality gold stud earrings for Christmas that I can wear every day
Especially when it comes to jewelry, I now prefer a piece that stays instead of constantly accumulating new pieces of costume jewelry that quickly break or disappear in the closet. A few subtle stud earrings fit my mom’s everyday life, my cozy outfits and still feel like a little luxury moment for me.
Conclusion: My style hasn’t gone away, it’s become more honest
At times I thought my style was lost between nursing bras, leggings and oversized hoodies. In reality, he just went through a filter.
Today my style is:
- more comfortable
- more practical
- reduced
- more conscious
I no longer dress for a photo, but for my life. For babies, dogs, trains, supermarkets, short nights, long days. And it is precisely within this framework that the details that are important to me find their place: a good pair of shoes, a favorite coat, a piece of jewelry with meaning.
If you feel like your style as a mom has disappeared: it’s there. He just looks different than before. You are allowed to change. Your clothes can change. And sometimes a comfortable outfit and a pair of gold ear studs with which you recognize yourself are enough to make you realize: This is me now. Not the “old” version. But who you have become. By the way: This can and may change at any time.