But there is another factor:
Because there is still the culture that I grew up with. I can’t say if this is a general thing or if it just applies to me, but based on my cultural background I see two problems.
As a woman with Eastern European roots, I encountered many clichés related to sex with Eastern Europeans. I came into contact with this fetishization early on, because as soon as my roots revealed themselves, I encountered an expectation such as: “Good in bed” and “screwed up” and “easy to have”. The motivation to sleep with me increased noticeably at that moment.
But where does that come from?
I once read a very good explanation for this. After the collapse of the USSR, the image of Eastern European women was linked to sex work. This was due not least to the (illegal) sex trade, which turned women from Eastern Europe into sex objects around the world. These women’s placement agencies are still the most harmless option. Shows like “Dream Woman Wanted,” where incels tried their luck in Eastern Europe, did the rest to fuel these disgusting clichés.
This objectification clashed with my naivety and left many scars on my soul. When men don’t treat you like a person with feelings but use you, sex automatically becomes the means.
At the same time, I grew up with beliefs that made me think that as a woman I should make a special effort to keep a man. As if he would run away at the first opportunity if I wasn’t a successful, smart, beautiful and athletic sex bomb. However, I shouldn’t be too picky about my choice of men. In my opinion, men who are reasonably sane and don’t hit their wives were already considered jackpots. I inherited these beliefs from a post-war generation in which the balance of men and women in society is still unbalanced today.
Bad conditions for inexperienced exploration of your sexuality.
Unfortunately, you cannot turn back time and undo old experiences. But you can create new ones. And perhaps through this realization I have already taken the first step on the path to an exciting journey of exploration.*