This year was tough. So many things happened at once. I often had the feeling that I could no longer regulate my nervous system properly. How can I relax when all around me is chaos and at the same time a baby demands my full attention?
I know this feeling as a constant state. Not that classic feeling of stress, but that inner alarm that remains even when you finally sit down. You theoretically have a moment of rest, but your body doesn’t take advantage of it. You scan noises, you anticipate the next need, you’re already sprinting inside again.
That’s exactly why I had to completely change my expectations of relaxation in everyday life with children. A perfect break is simply not possible. I need brief moments to shut down my system before I collapse. That’s realistic.
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Why relaxing with a baby is so difficult
With a baby, your nervous system is constantly on alert. You will be interrupted even if you just want to brush your teeth or go to the toilet. Sleep is often too little or too fragile. Added to this is the responsibility that doesn’t stop when you’re tired or sick. Even if you have help, you often have this inner feeling that you have to step in at any time.
Relaxation in everyday life with children is therefore less of a state and more of a skill that you can regain in tiny steps.
9 everyday tips for relaxation in everyday life with children
1) The 90 second breathing reset
This is my quick emergency exit when I notice that my tone is about to become too harsh or that I’m panicking inside.
- Place both feet firmly on the floor.
- Pull your shoulders up once and let them fall.
- Breathe out slowly for five rounds, longer than you breathe in.
If you like numbers: four seconds on, six seconds off. It’s about your body getting the signal that there is no danger at the moment.
2) Body first, head later
When I’m overstimulated, thinking often doesn’t help. Then I need a physical signal to bring me back.
Three quick options:
- Place your hands under warm water for 20 seconds.
- Rinse face briefly with cold water.
- Go to the window, look outside, take three deep breaths.
This works because your body reacts immediately to temperature, air and stimuli.
3) Less input instead of more distraction
My default escape reflex is my cell phone. I know that. And yet it rarely really calms me down. It just fills the gap that was supposed to be a break.
A mini reset without a cell phone:
- Timer set to three minutes.
- Sit down.
- Look at a fixed point.
- Breathe calmly.
Three minutes isn’t much, but it often feels better than three minutes of scrolling. Especially because your head doesn’t get any more food.
4) A song as a framework
Silence is often a fairy tale in everyday life with a baby. So I do it differently: I set a frame.
- I consciously listen to a song by my favorite band.
- Meanwhile, only do what is at hand and remain mindful.
- After the song, take a quick breather before jumping to the next thing.
It’s simple, but your brain loves clear start and end points. That can be enough to get you out of the feeling of being in an endless loop.
5) Mini exercise that doesn’t look like exercise
Sometimes I can’t relax because my body has stored tension. Then sitting is not enough. I have to get moving for a moment to release the pressure.
This can be really mini:
- Shake out your arms for 30 seconds.
- 30 seconds of shoulder circles.
- Gently rock your knees for 30 seconds.
- Stand for 30 seconds, exhale long.
If you like a tool that can also be exciting for children later, a balance board for home workouts would be an option. Surfin describes workout ideas on its own page and also emphasizes the playful factor for the family.
6) Mini yoga session
You can find really good 10-minute yoga sessions for relaxation on YouTube. This immediately helps me relax and it also promotes mobility. All you need is a mat, yourself and 10 minutes of rest. Important: You need a mat so that you don’t slip. A high-quality yoga mat made of cork can be a pleasant basis because it feels warmer and has a better grip.
7) Co-regulation instead of going it alone
With a baby, your nervous system often depends on the child. You can’t just disconnect like you’re alone in a quiet room. That’s why sometimes it helps more to go down together instead of fighting.
A process that often works:
- Baby close to you.
- A hand on your chest.
- Exhale long, let your shoulders soften.
It’s enough if you show your body that you are there and not just functioning.
8) A clear sentence instead of escalation
Part of relaxation is not only starting conflicts when you are already burning inside. You need a set that will protect you before you go over the edge.
A sentence that is short and usable:
I’m overstimulated and need ten minutes.
Don’t discuss it, don’t justify it. Just say what is happening and then get out of the room for a moment, to the window, to the bathroom, no matter where. Ten minutes is more manageable than an hour, and it often prevents major drama.
9) Small breaks that you don’t have to negotiate
If I have to fight for breaks, I don’t take them. Then I think I’m not allowed. That’s why the only breaks that work for me are those that are so small that I don’t negotiate them with myself.
Examples:
- Drink water and breathe consciously.
- Stand upright for two minutes, shoulders relaxed.
- Apply cream to your hands briefly and stay slow.
It sounds small, but that’s exactly what relaxation is in everyday life with children: small, but repeatable.
Conclusion: Relaxation in everyday life with children is not impossible
If I’ve learned one thing from this year, it’s that relaxation in everyday life with children isn’t something that suddenly just happens. They are mini-moments that I actively bring back. Not perfect, not always, but often enough for me to feel myself again.
You don’t have to rebuild your life to do this. Start with a single tip. Today, do exactly one mini-reset, for example the 90-second breathing reset or three minutes without your cell phone. And again tomorrow. This is not a self-optimization project, this is simply survival with a little more air.
If you like, tell me in the comments what works best for you. Breathing, music, mini-exercise or short yoga sessions? And if you want even more everyday parenting tips like this, save the post or send it to someone who is completely on edge at the moment.
