A column about motherhood and the struggle as a woman to fulfill many roles because that’s what society expects.
I can tell you. “I let them watch Peppa Pig,” a mother recently confessed to me. She said it very quietly, as if she were doing something completely criminal. I looked at her questioningly. “You shouldn’t allow children under 3 any screen time.” Oh right. Oops.
Even though my little one is only 5 months old, I also notice that the pressure to entertain the child around the clock and raise her to be a high performer is high. They shouldn’t watch TV, it’s best to just play with Montessori wooden toys and listen to a lot of Mozart. If it doesn’t do this, there is a risk of a developmental disorder. The daycare center should ideally be bilingual with an open learning concept and anyone who gives porridge in a bottle and doesn’t prepare it fresh every day is generally considered a bad mother.
What pressure on us women!
We have to work so as not to become dependent.
As a partner, we have to be sensual, patient and understanding so that the man “doesn’t run away” from us.
We have to look sexy and not age because our appearance also determines our worth in society.
And as mothers, we have to care for and support our child around the clock without even complaining.
Personally, I can’t think of any aspect in which women are not put under pressure: family, relationships, appearance, physical well-being, work, nutrition, health, household, social media. Have I forgotten something?
This not only puts incredible pressure on the mothers – because let’s be honest: fathers don’t put that much pressure on themselves – but also on the children. They should ideally be ahead of their time in their development, be able to sleep through the night after 5 months and no longer need diapers at 2. They should work. We do that too?!
I ask myself: Is that really what we want to pass on to our children? Do we really want to project onto our children all the pressure that we as adults and especially as women have to deal with in everyday life, regardless of whether we create it ourselves or it is transmitted to us from outside?
Or to put it another way: Does it really do them that much harm if they watch TV or get bored?
“I only want the best for my child!”
I think we all want that and it doesn’t surprise me that the optimization trend doesn’t stop at education. We all want to support our children so that they can express their own talents. I am no exception. I also want to offer my child everything so that he or she can become the best version of himself. But isn’t that an incredibly high demand for both of us? And I increasingly ask myself: What is really best for my child? And aren’t the values that we want to convey to our children neglected if we only ever focus on skills?
In the end, the parents know best the individual mixture for their own child. You sense what your own child needs. At your own pace and without any pressure or comparison. Your own gut feeling is better than any advice.
